Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo
By RACHEL C. BARAWID, ANGELO G. GARCIA and JASER A. MASIGAN
December 18, 2011, 2:49am
MANILA, Philippines — The marriage of Ryan Agoncillo and Judy Ann Santos comes as a breath of fresh air in a business where uncoupling seems to be the norm, rather than the exception.
In fact, people from in and out of showbiz can learn a thing or two from this couple who has been married for two years now. But what is striking is that even when no one is looking, Judy Ann and Ryan is a picture of a genuinely happy couple, deeply in love with each other.
This was evident in this 60 Minute tete-a-tete and pictorial where the couple would exchange knowing glances, call each other special terms of endearment, and share heartwarming stories of their little family’s present and future. This amid being busy promoting their film “My House Husband,’’ Octo Arts Films’ entry to the Metro Manila Film Festival.
Both Juday and Ryan acknowledge that for a marriage to work, couples should continue to grow individually while constantly checking on each one’s needs and spending time together.
“There are a lot of times that we check on each other. Changes (in marriage) go from fabulous to bordering on strange. Ayokong magising na lang as a middle-aged man who does not know where time went. So you always have to check. You always have to ground yourself,” says the 32-year-old Ryan who hosts ABC 5’s Talentadong Pinoy and Eat Bulaga on GMA 7.
“Tanungin mo yung partner mo kung masaya siya. Ganun kami, bago matulog ‘happy ka? Love mo ko?’ Importante na may moment kayong mag-asawa kasi doon niyo naibabalik yung sarili niyo sa square one na kahit palaki nang palaki yung mundo ninyo at pabigat nang pabigat yung mga responsibilidad ay nandiyan lang kayong dalawa para balansehin yung nangyayari sa inyo,” adds Juday, the host of ABS-CBN’s Junior Master Chef.
While theirs is not a perfect marriage, Juday says separation is not option. In fact, the little fights add spice to their relationship and help make them become better persons. And even though their roles as a domineering wife and submissive husband in their new movie are far from reality, Juday and Ryan discover that there is that universal rule that all couples must follow, that of supporting each other no matter who puts food on the table.
Apart from their film, the couple is also looking forward to spending a lavish and festive Christmas with their growing family, especially that their two-year-old son Lucho is now able to enjoy the trappings of the season. This early, both have also started to teach their older child Yohan Filipino traditions such as caroling, sharing with the less fortunate, and the true essence of Christmas. (Rachel C. Barawid)
STUDENTS AND CAMPUSES BULLETIN (SCB): How will this Christmas be different, especially now that you have your son, Lucho?
JUDY ANN SANTOS AGONCILLO (JSA): Siguro mas magiging maingay lang ngayon kasi nakaka interact na siya, tumatakbo takbo na. Makulit at malikot! Definitely, magiging exciting kasi siya na ngayon ang apple of the eye ng pamilya.
SCB: What did your kids ask for Christmas?
JSA: Si Lucho mahilig sa manibela ‘yung bata. Parang apat na manibela sa kanya, not unless bigyan namin siya ng tunay na manibela (laughs). Ibang usapan na ‘yun.
RYAN AGONCILLO (RA): I don’t know how our daughter Yohan feels about it, but this is the Christmas when we succeeded in convincing her to selling or giving away her toys. Sell ba o give?
JSA: Sell. Para kasi meron din siyang sarili niyang money. From there, she can buy whatever toys or clothes she wants. Some will be donated to the Aetas of Bataan na inaalagaan namin. Some we will sell para meron siyang reward for sharing her toys. Unti- unti, we introduce her to the act of sharing.
SCB: Do you dress up as Santa?
RA: No dressing up as Santa. Letter, then stockings, and then there’s the Santa gift.
SCB: Do you have a specific Christmas tradition that you have started now as a family?
JSA: Since we got married, we spend Christmas sa bahay namin with kuya ko, ate ko at si Mommy, with Mama and Papa. Meron kaming traditional Mass every December 25 with Fr. Sonny to bless the image of Mother Mary of Manaoag sa bahay. Sa gabi, barkada naman namin nagpupunta for a party.
RA: Whenever one of us has a Metro Manila Film Festival entry, I usually get the first screening and then we invite all our friends and family to watch our movie. So far, ‘yun pa lang ang out of the ordinary but everything else is as simple as Filipino traditions get.
SCB: How about Simbang Gabi?
JSA: Alam mo pina-project namin ‘yan. Ako nung bata pa ako, parang dalawang beses pa lang ako nakapag simbang gabi. Na-attempt ko naman, nakakatulog lang ako sa sermon.
SCB: Do you have tasks assigned for each other during the holidays?
JSA: Si Ryan is always sa barbecue. Whatever food na dapat iihaw, basta titimplahin na lang niya ‘yan nakatoka na sa kanya ‘yan like hipon, or steak, or ribs. Ako sa appetizers and desserts.
SCB: Since you two are foodies, do you make it a point to have different Noche Buena fare every year?
JSA: Kung ano ‘yung paborito ng lahat, ‘yun ‘yung nandun palagi sa table. Like kami ni Ry palagi kami naka diyeta, so looking forward talaga kami sa Noche Buena (laughs) kasi lahat na pagkain na gusto namin may excuse kaming kainin. We make it a point na bawat member ng family merong paboritong pagkain sa table para lahat happy.
SCB: We like what you said that you stop dieting at Christmas time because you want to appreciate the people who cooked the food for you.
JSA: Oo, kasi sayang naman ‘yung effort ng ibang tao na magregalo ng masarap na pagkain tapos dedeadmahin mo. So kumakain talaga kami after that bawing-bawi naman sa pagdidiyeta at pag eexercise. Kaya mas masaya ang Pasko for us kasi wala munang diyeta, diyeta. ‘Pag bakasyon, nanamnamin namin ang ibig sabihin ng bakasyon, pangangatawanan namin.
RA: We actually diet way before Christmas.
JSA: Papaka gutom kami (laughs).
RA: Para ‘pag dating ng Pasko, pantay lang. Quits lang (laughs).
SCB: How do you inculcate in your kids the spirit of Christmas, that it is not about material things?
JSA: We have started on Yohan about the toys. Sinasabi namin sa kanya to share anytime of the year. What’s important is you know how to share and give importance to other people.
At saka ‘yung wala masyadong expectation ‘pag dating sa regalo. Ang importante may nagbigay sa’yo, it really doesn’t matter kung expensive or kung gaano kalaki. Palagi naman naming sinasabi sa kanya na never compare your gifts to other people’s gifts kasi ang importante naalala ka. Para hindi naman maging materialistic ‘yung anak namin.
SCB: Are there traditions from your childhood that you are carrying on now?
JSA: Carolling, kasi ‘yung buhay naman namin sa Antipolo, masaya na kami sa pakonti konting barya pinaghahatian namin. Limang piso okay na ‘yung tig pipiso kayo (laughs).
RA: And this year, we’re going to teach Yohan how to go carolling.
JSA: Hangga’t maari di ba, ‘yung tradisyon na ginagawa mo nung bata ka, ma-experience niya. Para hindi siya masyadong tago sa totoong buhay ng bata na tumatakbo, nadudumihan, nasusugatan.
RA: Those are the things we want Yohan to experience. Nung tinanong ko nga eh about carolling, hindi niya alam. Hindi puwede ‘yun, kailangan matutunan niya.
SCB: Who is the spoiler and who is the disciplinarian?
JSA: Pareho eh (laughs). Kapag nagdidisiplina siya, tahimik lang ako. Kung ano ‘yung rule na sinabi ng isa sa amin, napag-usapan na walang babali. Kasi sino ang susundin ng bata kung isa sa inyo magbibigay ng disiplina, ‘pag talikod naman ng isa. Hindi ganun kasi mageexpect lalo ‘yung anak na okay lang magalit kasi si Mommy naman kampi sa akin. Parang it defeats the purpose na dinidisiplina mo ‘yung bata.
DISCOVERING EACH OTHER MORE AND MORE
SCB: You’ve been together for almost seven years. Do you still discover new things about each other?
JSA: Marami, pero walang masabi (laughs). Alam mo masusurprise ka na hindi mo naisip.
RA: Ngayon ko lang narealize na mambubulok siya (laughs). She’s very sentimental eh.
SCB: Ma clutter na ba sa bahay niyo?
JSA: Ah, papunta na doon (laughs).
RA: I knew that she was emotional but I never thought that she is very sentimental.
JSA: Alam ko naman even before pa na si Ryan kapag may ginustong isang bagay, gusto niya talaga, na sa kahit anong paraan kukunin ko ‘yan. Ngayon ko lang narealize, na kaya pala extra lambing siya kapag bibili ng sasakyan, o aawayin ako. Either ‘yun eh, malambing na malambing o aawayin ako ng tatlong araw, bago siya makipag bati sa akin, may motor na o may kotse na. Wala kang magawa kasi magka away kayo. Tsaka lang siya makikipag bati kapag “Look, I have a new car.” Kita ko nga eh (laughs). Every year iba ang atake niya sa pagbili ng sasakyan. Ako naman iba rin ang atake ko kapag bumibili ako ng bag ko (laughs). Kanya kanyang kembot lang ‘yan.
SCB: Meron bang time na napigilan mo si Ryan sa pagbili ng something?
RA: Oo naman.
JSA: Kailan? Ah oo. Sa isang bagay ko lang siya napigilan – sa pagiging piloto.
SCB: Bakit ayaw mo?
JSA: Gusto mo?
SCB: Para isasakay ka niya sa plane...
JSA: Sabi ko sa lupa na lang muna, ‘wag niya muna i-conquer ang air. Kasi champion naman siya dito as drifter. ‘Yung pagiging champion as a pilot, siguro someday. ‘Wag agad agad.
RA: Balang araw, papayag ka rin (laughs).
SCB: Kapag nakabili ka na ng private plane na hindi niya alam.
JSA: Hindi ako magtataka (laughs).
RA: (laughs)
JSA: Iisa-isahin niya muna ‘yan, gulong, hagdan, isa-isa ‘yang aasembolin.
TRAVELLING THE WORLD
SCB: Who manages the budget?
JSA: Ako. Pero hindi ko alam kung maganda o hindi maganda, but it works for us. Wala kaming pinagusapan basta ang sabi ko lang sa kanya, magbukas tayo ng account for expenses. And then may sarili kaming accounts sa aming dalawa kaya kapag meron siyang gustong bilhin eh malaya niyang bilhin ang gusto niyang bilhin as long as meron siyang binibigay na pera sa akin pambayad ng dapat bayaran. Ganun din ako.
And then meron kaming isang account for travel, ‘yung mga bonus, halimbawa okay pa expenses namin dun ko naman ilalagay. Then meron pa kaming isang account na hindi naming talaga ginagalaw ‘yun ‘yung talagang savings, for emergencies na hopefully wala naman. Nagwowork din kasi kahit ako nakakalimutan ko na meron kaming savings. So andun lang siya lago ng lago and then kapag malaki na siya saka na lang namin iisipin kung saan siya ii-invest.
RA: Importante kasi sa amin ‘yung biyahe. Pagsubok yan sa maraming bagay, pampaiba ng flavor. It’s not just for both of us, also for Yohan and the recent case for our parents whom we travelled with.
SCB: What’s your favorite place?
RA: There’s so many. Well, I can tell you where our favorite sunset was, or I can tell you where our favorite plate of whatever was, pero ‘yung isa (favorite place) lang, wala siguro.
JSA: Ako, if there’s one place na gustong gusto ko balikan it’s Chiang Mai. ‘Yun yung place na sinabi ni Ate Sharon (Cuneta) sa kanya na dalhin mo si Juday diyan. Kasi para siyang Baguio. Eh di sana nag Baguio na lang kami! (Laughs) Sinagot ko rin ‘yung sinabi ko.
RA: Maiintindihan pa natin ‘yung salita…
JSA: Kasi masyadong payapa mga tao at napakasarap ng pagkain. Kung puwede ako pumili ng isang lugar na puwede ako maging botante, siguro Chiang Mai.
RA: Ikaw lang ha (laughs)!
JSA: Bibisita ka ha.
RA: Bibisitahin kita once in awhile. (Laughs)
SCB: In the Philippines, is there a particular place that you always go back to?
JSA: Siyempre ‘yung Batangas. Gusto rin naming ma-experience ang Batanes.
RA: Tingnan mo, Sweetheart, kung naging piloto ako.
JSA: Hindi ako magtataka kung may susi ng eroplano sa bahay namin pagdating ko mamaya.
RA: (Laughs)
THEIR JOURNEY
SCB: In the movie My House Husband, what are the characteristics of your role that you can relate to?
RA: Opposite ko kasi si Rod eh, but I guess the pride. I can also relate to the fact that Rod went through a journey because I’m on a journey. I would think in the seven years na magkasama kami, I’m not the same person anymore. At the end of the movie, Rod is a little more accepting of things. Kung dati may mga hindi ako matanggap, ngayon nagugulat na lang ako na uy its cool with me now. Siguro ‘yun pa lang ang pareho, the acceptance of the journey and the pride that was once there na napalitan by the end.
JSA: Well, ‘yung character ko as Mia, understanding, patient, housewife. Siguro ‘yung isang bagay lang na hindi ako si Mia, ‘yung hindi naman matalak pero matalas manumbat. Hindi ako ganun eh. Bago pa man ako makapag salita ng sama ng loob ko sa kanya umiiyak na ko.
RA: Kaya nga lugi ka sa laban dito kasi iiyakan ka na agad eh.
SCB: You are not confrontational?
JSA: Gusto ko maging confrontational na hindi ako nagpapakita ng emosyon. ‘Yung hangga’t maaari gusto ko matapang ‘yung ipapakita ko.
RA: Lugi ka eh best actress eh. (Laughs) Andali magpaluha!
SCB: Ryan, you were saying something about being on a journey.
Thinking about your future with Juday, does it scare you sometimes? Or are you looking forward to it?
RA: Well, it’s not scary but if you don’t check a lot, one time you will just wake up you don’t know yourself. Doon ako maingat. I always check on myself na I’m ok with the changes. I also ask her “Are you ok? Solve ka pa ba? Do we need to sit down and talk about things?” So far hindi naman umaalma! (Laughs)
But yes there are a lot of times that we check on each other. Kasi ano eh ‘yung changes from fabulous to bordering on strange eh. Parang ayoko magising na lang I’m a middle-aged man and I don’t know where time went. So no, you always have to check. You always have to ground yourself.
JSA: Siguro pinaka importanteng tanong na hindi masyadong napapansin ng mag-asawa is ‘yung tanungin mo ‘yung partner mo kung masaya siya at ‘yung sana sagutin ka ng totoo di ba? Kasi minsan ganun kami, ‘yung bago matulog “Happy ka?” May lambingan, pagkatapos ng away. Pero siyempre hindi mo naman agad itatanong pagkatapos ng away kung happy ka! (Laughs) Happy ka? Ano sa palagay mo! (Laughs)
SCB: Ayan ang motor…(Laughs)
JSA: Happy ka, may motor ka eh! (Laughs) May ganun kami, happy ka? Love mo ko? ‘Yung lambingan na ganun. Parang importante ‘yun na may moment kayong mag-asawa kasi doon niyo naibabalik ‘yung sarili niyo sa square one na kahit palaki nang palaki ‘yung mundo ninyo kasi pabigat nang pabigat ‘yung mga responsibilidad ay nandiyan lang kayong dalawa para balansehin ‘yung nangyayari sa inyo. When it comes to work, ganun din. May sarili kaming diskarte pero may sarili rin kaming panukala sa mga desisyon namin. Kung anong desisyon ng isa, go lang. Pero pag nalungkot ka, okay andito lang ako, support lang.
SCB: Most showbiz marriages don’t last long. Is there pressure on both of you to really work on your marriage?
JSA: Pag nakipag relasyon ka at humarap na kayo sa dambana…
RA: Ano ba talaga yung dambana?
JSA: Bell?
RA: Kampana ‘yun eh! Ano ang dambana?
SCB: Altar?
RA: Altar. (Laughs) Anong bell, pag humarap na kayo sa bell (laughs)?
JSA: Pag humarap na kayo sa altar isasapuso mo ‘yung sinabi ng pari. Pag nag-away kayo hangga’t maaari, may sagutan na ayoko sa iyo! Bakit ba nag-asawa pa tayo?! ‘Yung pakikipag hiwalay, it’s really not an option. Mangyari man ‘yun, knock on wood, siguro pag tinanong mo siyang “happy ka pa ba” at sumagot ang asawa mo ng hindi na, ay ‘yung ang parang nakakatakot. Doon niyo simulang pag-uusapan ulit kung itutuloy niyo pa ba ito, hindi ka na masaya, alangan namang ako lang ang masaya. Sa bawat relasyon, sa nakikita ko, sa papaanong paraan man kayo masaktan, ang importante honest kayo.
‘Yung pag-aaway, hindi mawawala, yung pagtatalo. Pero ‘yung pakikipag hiwalay at ‘yung mga anak ko ang mahihirapan, ‘yung ang pinaguusapan ng bonggang bongga talaga. Mahal na nga magpakasal, mas mahal pa maghiwalay.
RA: I was telling Judy Ann, I never dated anybody from show business.
I never dated co-models or co-actors because I was always skeptical about relationships borne from being together at work. That’s why we’re so careful taking precautions and protecting ourselves. And we appreciate also our friends kasi sinadya namin after kami maging kami, we didn’t work for a year. We wanted to see baka naman dahil sa set lang. Tapos nung hindi naman pala eh di sinubukan namin to work together okay naman pala, ganun din. It kinda opened a lot of opportunities for us but at the same time, that’s also why we got even more protective of our privacy.
Kasi having a relationship is hard enough. Samahan mo pa ng fans, detractors, katrabaho. Whether it’s positive or negative, it will have an effect on the relationship.
LAUGHTER IN MARRIAGE
SCB: What did you discover about yourselves after you’ve become wife and a husband?
RA: I don’t know if I’m really a funny guy or she’s just a person who’s easy to laugh. Every day, she laughs at me. I’m actually worried, I think I’m starting to feel like a joke. (Laughs) No seriously, for the past two years wala siyang ginagawa kundi tawanan lang nang tawanan ‘yung mga ginagawa ko. I think that’s a good sign. (Laughs)
JSA: Hindi ko naisip na kapag naging housewife ka, naging nanay ka, artista, wala kang kapaguran especially pag nasa bahay ka. Lalo na pag nagluluto ako, I never thought na maeenjoy ko itong buong ito na nakahain sa akin ngayon. Kung mayroon man times na napapagod ako, madali ako makarecover kasi nga mayroon akong nakakatawang asawa.
RA: ‘Yun yun!
JSA: Matutulog ka na lang tapos may sasabihin siya na nakakatawa.
RA: (Laughs)
JSA: Mag kokomento siya, iisipin mo matutulog na lang magkokomento pa. Paano mo naiisip ‘yun? Ang hirap i-explain kasi puro English magsalita kaya siguro ako natatawa. Ang galing mo naman, matutulog ka na lang nag-e-English ka pa! Bakit hindi ko nagagawa ‘yan. At saka ang puro ng emosyon niya eh lalo na pag magtatanong siya tungkol sa isang bagay. Isang example ‘yan nung isang gabi magkakasama kami sa dining table tapos may tinatanong siya. Sweetie, are you sure this is like this, like this? Yeah. Uyyy, really? I never thought of that? (imitates Ryan) Pagka ganun ako naman, ah talaga! Ahh. Oo nga ano, pag English ‘yung iniisip mo, English din ‘yung sinasabi mo. So ibig sabihin hindi ako nag-iisip ng English kasi hindi ako nakakasagot ng English eh. Makakapag English ako pag nag-aaway kami. Pag sinabi niyang what the fu*k is wrong with you?
RA: (Laughs)
JSA: The fu*k!
SCB: So ‘yung laughter and humor are always there?
JSA,RA: Yes.
JSA: Malaking bagay ang tawa sa relationship, regardless if mag-ina kayo, bestfriends, lalo pa’t pag magasawa kayo. Importanteng napagtatawanan ninyo ang isa’t isa at hindi napipikon. Kasi halimbawa pag napikon siya sa akin, magtataka ako. Bakit? Hindi ka dapat napipikon asawa mo ko eh. Pag napikon ka, mali ‘yun. Baka may iba ka nang pakiramdam. Baka naman may iba ka nang pinagtatawanan. Ikaw ha, hindi na ako funny for you?
SCB: What’s the best gift that you want to receive from each other this Christmas?
JSA: Best gift would be a top-grosser film! That would be the best gift we could receive and we could give to our producers.
RA: I’m speaking more on the lines of a single engine Cessna (laughs).
SCB: Ayan na, ayan na! (Laughs)
RA: (Laughs)
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